Day 1 of the November writing challenge I found to be incredibly difficult. In complete transparency, I wrote the intro to the blog: say the quiet part out loud, then typed “Ummm. No thanks”.
It sat on my computer screen for 2 days staring at me. For the most part, I’m an open book. Except when I’m not. There are a few pages that are vaulted with many locks & keys. I suppose all of us are that way about something.
After chatting with a friend about my first post, I realized I kinda cheated on the challenge. Sure my first post was honest, but I knew where I needed to go & didn’t. This challenge for me isn’t about showcasing great literary work, it’s about allowing God to use these simple prompts to stir my soul & spur some creativity. Such creativity that I’ve questioned if it had died in the past 18 months.
If no one reads a single blog post in the next 30 days, the point is I allowed myself to interact with the God of all creation in honesty & truthfulness; allowing any ounce of giftedness in writing to reflect His goodness & work in my life.
I’ve been working on a blog post for about a year now. I’ve wanted to publish it so many times but the timing never felt right. There is also a smidgen of fear associated with it. Fear of possibly causing a rift in relationships. Fear of making public statements that suddenly define us permanently. I knew this writing prompt for Day 1 of the November challenge was supposed to be the moment of my big reveal, and yet I didn’t do it. Why is it so hard to say the quiet part out loud?
the real quiet part
This won’t come as a big surprise for many. In fact, I haven’t been quiet in small groups or coffee time. I am very open and transparent about this. Nevertheless, there was that slight level of fear about doing anything public.
I no longer subscribe to the Word of Faith or hyper-charismatic beliefs.
To be honest, I am a theological mutt and I am proud of it. This is also evolving. I will not tattoo anything. Well, there is one thing… but I don’t like needles. I find myself settling deeper into Reformed-Original Arminian-Continuism. For those who study such theological camps, you may say, “Pam there is no such thing.” Yes, there is.
The more I read God’s word, study, pray, and meditate the further I walk away from the prosperity gospel + signs and wonders ministry. In fact, I find that a majority of what is taught are scriptures taken out of context plus a LOT of New Age added into the mix. That’s scary.
There is much more to say about my real quiet reveal. Many questions to be answered. Lots of coffee time to be had. I am HERE FOR ALL OF IT! Jesus is my jam and studying his Word with sisters is my joy.
Goodness, there’s such peace about finally saying it to everyone at once!